Monday, August 22, 2005
Friday, August 19, 2005
Is That Who I Think It Is?
I was fiddling around the interweb when I came across the Susan Scott Lookalikes Agency. Since 1986 this company has been providing people with celebrity lookalikes for their events - weddings, parties, bar mitvahs - you can have a mock celeb wandering around and mugging for pictures, imagine the look of amazement on your guests faces when they come face to face with one of their heroes. Well, Susan Scott can make it happen....sort of.
What a cracking example of a crap lookalike. Can you guess who this is supposed to be? I'll give you a hint, the England shirt is a tip off. That's right, Wayne Rooney. Wayne. Rooney. If this man looks like Wayne Rooney, I'm a fucking gorilla. Does he know that Wayne Rooney is 20 years of age, not in his mid-30's? This leads me to believe that the Susan Scott Agency's casting director is infact blind.
Maybe you want to add a bit of sex appeal to your party by inviting a look alike of Hollywood's Glitterati to schmooze with guests and make you look good. Or, you could invite this piss poor Julia Roberts look alike, and have it look like you've wasted your money instead.
Finally, the coup de grace. Doesn't everyone want history's worst dictator wandering around their party? Nothing would lower the mood quicker than Das Furher joining the line for the buffet. I wonder if he allows people to take pictures with him, posing like their kicking his ass? That's a great idea, much better than looking in the mirror and thinking "Hey, if I grew a little 'tache, I'd look exactly like Hitler!"
What a cracking example of a crap lookalike. Can you guess who this is supposed to be? I'll give you a hint, the England shirt is a tip off. That's right, Wayne Rooney. Wayne. Rooney. If this man looks like Wayne Rooney, I'm a fucking gorilla. Does he know that Wayne Rooney is 20 years of age, not in his mid-30's? This leads me to believe that the Susan Scott Agency's casting director is infact blind.
Maybe you want to add a bit of sex appeal to your party by inviting a look alike of Hollywood's Glitterati to schmooze with guests and make you look good. Or, you could invite this piss poor Julia Roberts look alike, and have it look like you've wasted your money instead.
Finally, the coup de grace. Doesn't everyone want history's worst dictator wandering around their party? Nothing would lower the mood quicker than Das Furher joining the line for the buffet. I wonder if he allows people to take pictures with him, posing like their kicking his ass? That's a great idea, much better than looking in the mirror and thinking "Hey, if I grew a little 'tache, I'd look exactly like Hitler!"
My Black Metal Friends
Throw your horns up, paint your face like a cadaver, wear leather pants, studded vests and enjoy "The 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pictures of All Time!!"
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Here we are again, another little update from Catholicshopper. Instead of American football, Jesus is trying his hand at the most popular sport in the world. Here we can see The Lamb of God schooling two ginger children, look at the obvious pace, with his hair flapping in the wind. I'm not sure what team he's on here, cause both #5 and #7 are trying to tackle him. Silly Jesus, there's no 'I' in 'Team,' give someone else a chance.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Its coming home, its coming home. Football's coming home.
Thankfully, the Premiership season is upon us once again, a summer full of European Cup celebrations, Peter Crouch rumours, and Steven Gerrard denials has drawn to a close. The Community/Charity Shield is over and done with, and now the shouting can begin. But, before it does, I shall anoint you all with my Premiership preview -- now, I assure you, I will be talking nothing but bollocks for the next few paragraphs, you have been warned.
Chelsea will win the Premiership. End of. We should just give them first place, and not let them play the season, a bit like Spurs in tenth place. With Robben fit from the start and the addition of Shaun Wright-Phillips, they're every fantasy players wet dream and nightmare at the same time. They're able to score 4 goals a game, but which combination will actually play? Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy Premiership titles.
Liverpool will finish second. I can dream can't I? On the back of 'That Night in Istanbul' I think Liverpool could put a decent season together. The signings of Reina and Crouch, a full season of Morientes (eventhough he looks a bit rubbish), and a season not blighted by long term injuries (I'm looking at you Alonso, Cisse), could put us near the top. In Rafa I trust, and why not? He made a squad containing Djimi Traore and Igor Biscan European Champions - he can do anything - water into wine, raise the dead, bring Michael Owen home. Anything.
Manchester United and Arsenal will scrap it out for third. Obviously. Arsenal's loss of Vieria and United's lack of any sort of decent cover make them both susceptible. Cesc Fabregas may be a lot of things, but is his a big enough presence to make up for the loss of Monsieur Vieria. Short answer, no. Arsenal will struggle, especially away from home, with teams that will get amongst them, fight and use the more physical side of the game (I'm looking at you, Blackburn) - Vieria had a take no prisoners attitude, and would often drag Arsenal out of the mire. Fabregas is 18, Spanish, and last season, sported a mullet. What that means, I don't know - but I don't think he's good enough. Manchester United have become a shadow of their former selves. Chelsea, the new kids on the block, have stolen their thunder, and now United's aging golden generation are getting well...old. No real alternative to Roy Keane, Ryan Giggs, or Paul Scholes poses some problems for Sir Alex, not only this season, put in seasons to come. With the Glazers controlling the purse strings, will there be money for him to strengthen? That remains to be seen, but for now, the quality is obvious, but its on the wane.
So here goes -- some more predictions, and some for those not paying attention:
Champions - Chelsea
Champions League Qualifiers - Liverpool, Manchester United, Arsenal
UEFA Cup Qualifiers - Tottenham, Newcastle, Bolton
Relegated - Wigan, West Ham, West Brom
Golden Boot Winner - Thierry Henry
Michael Owen will sign for - Liverpool
There you go. My colours nailed firmly to the flag. In a few months we'll all be able to look back and laugh at my apparent lack of football knowledge!
Peace Out.
Chelsea will win the Premiership. End of. We should just give them first place, and not let them play the season, a bit like Spurs in tenth place. With Robben fit from the start and the addition of Shaun Wright-Phillips, they're every fantasy players wet dream and nightmare at the same time. They're able to score 4 goals a game, but which combination will actually play? Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy Premiership titles.
Liverpool will finish second. I can dream can't I? On the back of 'That Night in Istanbul' I think Liverpool could put a decent season together. The signings of Reina and Crouch, a full season of Morientes (eventhough he looks a bit rubbish), and a season not blighted by long term injuries (I'm looking at you Alonso, Cisse), could put us near the top. In Rafa I trust, and why not? He made a squad containing Djimi Traore and Igor Biscan European Champions - he can do anything - water into wine, raise the dead, bring Michael Owen home. Anything.
Manchester United and Arsenal will scrap it out for third. Obviously. Arsenal's loss of Vieria and United's lack of any sort of decent cover make them both susceptible. Cesc Fabregas may be a lot of things, but is his a big enough presence to make up for the loss of Monsieur Vieria. Short answer, no. Arsenal will struggle, especially away from home, with teams that will get amongst them, fight and use the more physical side of the game (I'm looking at you, Blackburn) - Vieria had a take no prisoners attitude, and would often drag Arsenal out of the mire. Fabregas is 18, Spanish, and last season, sported a mullet. What that means, I don't know - but I don't think he's good enough. Manchester United have become a shadow of their former selves. Chelsea, the new kids on the block, have stolen their thunder, and now United's aging golden generation are getting well...old. No real alternative to Roy Keane, Ryan Giggs, or Paul Scholes poses some problems for Sir Alex, not only this season, put in seasons to come. With the Glazers controlling the purse strings, will there be money for him to strengthen? That remains to be seen, but for now, the quality is obvious, but its on the wane.
So here goes -- some more predictions, and some for those not paying attention:
Champions - Chelsea
Champions League Qualifiers - Liverpool, Manchester United, Arsenal
UEFA Cup Qualifiers - Tottenham, Newcastle, Bolton
Relegated - Wigan, West Ham, West Brom
Golden Boot Winner - Thierry Henry
Michael Owen will sign for - Liverpool
There you go. My colours nailed firmly to the flag. In a few months we'll all be able to look back and laugh at my apparent lack of football knowledge!
Peace Out.
Monday, August 01, 2005
That's No Survey, 'Tis A Voracious Time Wasting Beast
what time is it? 10:16pm
full name: Paul David Hatcher
age: 24
height: 5'11"
weight: 150 lbs.
eye color: Brown
hair color: Brown
skin color: White
birthday: October 5th, 1980
birthstone/sign: Opal/Libra (Your guess is as good as mine as to how and why I know that)
makeup or none?: Not for a few years, my eyeliner went away with my full print t-shirts, man, I was so metal!
nationality: Dual Canadian and British
school: John Moore's University, Liverpool
characteristics____x
devil or angel: *polishes halo*
confrontational or let things slide: Let things slide, then make snarky comments later on
introverted or extroverted: A little from column A, a little from column b
aloof or concentrated: Aloof, unless its as subtle as a charging rhino, I'll miss it
are you one to take things seriously: Depends what 'things' are
very analyctical of what others say: Yes. Usually just so I can take the piss.
do you think before you act: Usually, and the decision is always the same "I think I'll stay in bed"
serious or comedic: Comedic
selfish or selfless: Selfless, unless I owe Steve money
do you consider yourself to be honest? Yeah, for major stuff
describe yourself:
how does your girlfriend/boyfriend feel about you?: She claims to love me, I'll take her word for it -- no sense pressing the issue
how do you feel about yourself?: God's greatest in-joke
describe your girlfriend/boyfriend?: My little everything.
what would you rather be doing?: Sweating in Canada
describe where you live?: Liverpool, home of the 2005 Champions League Champions, and general unhospitable shithole
describe how you love?: unapologetically
have a good sense of humor?: I hope so, if not, people are laughing at me, not with me.
what did you have for breakfast this morning?: Nothing, who has time at 6:40am?
what are you looking forward to?: Going home for Christmas
any major flaws?: I'm a bit gaseous
favorites_________x
movie: Fight Club
television show: CSI
band: Marilyn Manson
actor: Brad Pitt, He's in Se7en and Fight Club - that affords pardons for Meet Joe Black, Seven Years in Tibet, and Legends of the Fall
actress: Keira Knighley *goes weak in the knees*
food: McDonalds Cheese Burgers....Morgan Spurlock be damned!
ice cream flavor: Phish Food - that's the expensive shit motherfuckers!
song: Marilyn Manson - 'Dried Up, Tied Up & Dead to the World'
book: Nick Hornby - 'Fever Pitch'
number: 665, the neighbour of the beast
color: Black - because its how I feel on the inside
store: 'Open' in Liverpool City Centre
animal: Emperor Penguin
scent: FCUK Him
album: Marilyn Manson - 'Antichrist Superstar'
movie soundtrack: Requiem for a Dream
season: They're all the same here, rain, rain, rain, rain
t-shirt quote: "WWJD for a Klondike Bar"
holiday: Christmas
school subject: Gym
random thing: Dali's Elephants
thing to do on the 'net: Avoid real life
thing to say: Any sentence with the word 'yo' at the end
car: Mini Cooper
favorite childhood memory?: Getting He-Man for my 4th birthday
favorite vacation?: Hawaii with Lori
this or that_______x
pepsi/coke: Coke, I'm quite particular about my caffeine fix
cat/dog: Dog
real/fake: Real
lust/love: Love, with a fair sprinkle of lust from time to time
tv/movies: TV
hug/kiss: Kiss
love/be loved: Be loved
night/day: Night
dark/light: Light
hot/cold: Hot, unless I'm trying to sleep
silver/gold: Silver
taking pics/pics taken: Both
blonde/brunette: In the words of the great Deryck Whibley "It makes no difference to me"
good/evil: Evil, cause they always get the best lines
sweet/sour: sa-weet
dl'ing music/buying music: Downloading, who needs the booklet anyway?
indoors/outdoors: Outdoors
left/right: Left foot
living for the moment/future: The future, hopefully a rich future
cell phone/regular phone: Mobile phone - I love the text
friendship________x
are you popular? People don't cross the street to avoid me, if that's what you mean
number of close friends? Probably in the 5-10 range
friend you talk to the most? Steve
friend you see the least? Anyone from Canada
friend you see the most? Andy
friend who goes to you for advice? None, they all know better than to do that
ever made out with a friend? Nah, none of that
best friend: Steve and Captain Portugal
funniest friend: Steve (looking, smelling...)
dumbest friend: Adam, the boy's a legend
ditziest friend: Katie
most unfortunate friend: Girish, the Shaker's Addiction is a terrible thing
smartest friend: It has to be Lori, does she count?
quietest friend: Aziz
loudest friend: Andy
longest lasting friend: Joe Lawlor
prettiest friend: Steve
cutest friend: Steve
hottest friend: Steve (had to return the favor, mutual ego stroking)
random__________x
what's the worst memory of your life: Probably the death of my baby brother, Stuart
do you have any siblings: One sister
the funniest or most disgusting thing you had to do in a game of truth or dare: I'm pretty sure I've licked some feet
do you like your name: Yeah, I guess so
what are your favorite boys/girls names: Jack/Victoria
when you dream, do you see yourself, or do you see through your own eyes: I actually do both, depending on the situation
do you have any phobias: claustrophobia
does glitter make you sick: Sick? That seems a little strong for something so insignificant
do you consider yourself to be a very sexual person: On occasion
what kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use: Cynthia Sylvia Stout from Lush
what kind of body wash do you use: Sonic Death Monkey from Lush
do you consider yourself to be spoiled: Lori totally spoils me
what is your religion? I don't really have one, God and I have had our differences in the past
are you a big music freak: I prefer normal sized music
do you believe in love at first sight: Lust at first sight, yes, love takes time
do you believe love can only happen once in a lifetime: Nope
do you believe in evolution: Yes, its a better option than Adam & Eve
is there anything you really hate: Early Mornings
what are your views on plastic surgery: Don't overdo it
what are your views on drugs and alcohol: Don't overdo it
are you down with the spongebob craze: No, I'm happily not down with the kids on this one
do you have any collections: Yes, I have lots of toys - mint on cards - I'm a dork
name a place you visit often: the bathroom
do you think you're hot: Nah, its rather mild here at the moment
do you have any piercings: Not anymore
do you want any piercings: No
what are your views on piercings: Don't overdo it
do you have a tattoo: No
do you want one or another one: Well, a pact is a pact, right Steve?
share a few words of wisdom?: You don't tug on Superman's cape, You don't spit into the wind, You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger, and you don't mess around with Jim
how often do you spend time online: Daily
do you get along with your parents: Swimmingly, unless I'm asking for money
how was your childhood: Fantastic, as far as I can remember
are you an only child?: I know this survey is long, but my parents haven't produced another child since I answered this question last. One sister.
pets?: None
feeling on politics: Apathetic
like hippies?: as long as they shower, wear deodarent, and their tie-dye doesn't make my eyes bleed
like thugs?: Not even to laugh at
like Punk rockers?: Proper punks are alright, its the Blinkers that worry me
like hXcers?: What the hell is a hXcer? I'm way too old for this shit.
like metal heads?: Oh yes, my long haired, Pantera loving bretheren
like ravers?: Fun fur visors and glow sticks, what's not to love?
like posers: They make any scene interesting
like goths: Gothic Cam is great!
like hicks?: I don't really know any, so I can't pass judgement
like racist people: Well, no, apart from my Grandad
like Nazis?: Little old German Grandads(with dead eyes) are cute
like preps: sure, go on then
are you a virgin: Buy me dinner and I'm whatever you want me to be
how's the weather?: Its nighttime, cloudy, can't see the stars
do you like living: Better than being dead, I guess
what do you want to be: Fabulous!
how was your day: A bit shit, figuratively and literally
what are you wearing: FCUK jeans, pink ringer tee, CK boxer briefs
doing anything later: Going to sleep
tomorrow?: Going to work
ever try to commit suicide: Whoa, this took a bleak turn, and no.
have you ever____x
been in love? Yes, in the present tense
kissed the same sex? Not since I was wee
seen your favorite band live? Of course.
taken any kind of lessons? Nope, I'm just a natural talent at all I do
won any contests? Never, but I rarely enter them
cussed out your mom/dad? Never had any reason to, I'm not trash
looked at the stars with a loved one? Frequently
wanted to kill someone? Not really
killed someone? Not yet, I'm sure its coming though
hated someone? Of course
cheated on someone? Nope
one, neither, or both____x
mom or dad: Both
girl or boy: Girl
gun or knife: Gun, less personal
deaf or blind: Deaf
penis or vagina: penis for peeing, the other for everything else
blood or boogers: blood, less slimey
eyes or toes: eyes
boobs or butts: boobs, easiest question on this survey, that....except maybe the Nazi one
tongue or lip rings: Neither
nipple or nose rings: Neither
green or blue eyes: Green
punk or thug: Punk Oi! Oi! Oi!
broken jaw or nose: broken jaw, how cool woul dit be to have it wired shut?
date same or opposite sex: opposite
first thing that comes to mind__x
fish: Captain Portugal
fat: gunt
roast Beef: Sunday Dinner
school: wrist deep in feces
asshole: Me
poser: Crazy Town
slut: Alfies
funk: Parliament Funkadelic
drums: Steve
blood: Needles
dead: Michael Jackson's career
president Bush: gun toting cowboy
America: rednecks
cactus: prick
peach: fuzzy
full name: Paul David Hatcher
age: 24
height: 5'11"
weight: 150 lbs.
eye color: Brown
hair color: Brown
skin color: White
birthday: October 5th, 1980
birthstone/sign: Opal/Libra (Your guess is as good as mine as to how and why I know that)
makeup or none?: Not for a few years, my eyeliner went away with my full print t-shirts, man, I was so metal!
nationality: Dual Canadian and British
school: John Moore's University, Liverpool
characteristics____x
devil or angel: *polishes halo*
confrontational or let things slide: Let things slide, then make snarky comments later on
introverted or extroverted: A little from column A, a little from column b
aloof or concentrated: Aloof, unless its as subtle as a charging rhino, I'll miss it
are you one to take things seriously: Depends what 'things' are
very analyctical of what others say: Yes. Usually just so I can take the piss.
do you think before you act: Usually, and the decision is always the same "I think I'll stay in bed"
serious or comedic: Comedic
selfish or selfless: Selfless, unless I owe Steve money
do you consider yourself to be honest? Yeah, for major stuff
describe yourself:
how does your girlfriend/boyfriend feel about you?: She claims to love me, I'll take her word for it -- no sense pressing the issue
how do you feel about yourself?: God's greatest in-joke
describe your girlfriend/boyfriend?: My little everything.
what would you rather be doing?: Sweating in Canada
describe where you live?: Liverpool, home of the 2005 Champions League Champions, and general unhospitable shithole
describe how you love?: unapologetically
have a good sense of humor?: I hope so, if not, people are laughing at me, not with me.
what did you have for breakfast this morning?: Nothing, who has time at 6:40am?
what are you looking forward to?: Going home for Christmas
any major flaws?: I'm a bit gaseous
favorites_________x
movie: Fight Club
television show: CSI
band: Marilyn Manson
actor: Brad Pitt, He's in Se7en and Fight Club - that affords pardons for Meet Joe Black, Seven Years in Tibet, and Legends of the Fall
actress: Keira Knighley *goes weak in the knees*
food: McDonalds Cheese Burgers....Morgan Spurlock be damned!
ice cream flavor: Phish Food - that's the expensive shit motherfuckers!
song: Marilyn Manson - 'Dried Up, Tied Up & Dead to the World'
book: Nick Hornby - 'Fever Pitch'
number: 665, the neighbour of the beast
color: Black - because its how I feel on the inside
store: 'Open' in Liverpool City Centre
animal: Emperor Penguin
scent: FCUK Him
album: Marilyn Manson - 'Antichrist Superstar'
movie soundtrack: Requiem for a Dream
season: They're all the same here, rain, rain, rain, rain
t-shirt quote: "WWJD for a Klondike Bar"
holiday: Christmas
school subject: Gym
random thing: Dali's Elephants
thing to do on the 'net: Avoid real life
thing to say: Any sentence with the word 'yo' at the end
car: Mini Cooper
favorite childhood memory?: Getting He-Man for my 4th birthday
favorite vacation?: Hawaii with Lori
this or that_______x
pepsi/coke: Coke, I'm quite particular about my caffeine fix
cat/dog: Dog
real/fake: Real
lust/love: Love, with a fair sprinkle of lust from time to time
tv/movies: TV
hug/kiss: Kiss
love/be loved: Be loved
night/day: Night
dark/light: Light
hot/cold: Hot, unless I'm trying to sleep
silver/gold: Silver
taking pics/pics taken: Both
blonde/brunette: In the words of the great Deryck Whibley "It makes no difference to me"
good/evil: Evil, cause they always get the best lines
sweet/sour: sa-weet
dl'ing music/buying music: Downloading, who needs the booklet anyway?
indoors/outdoors: Outdoors
left/right: Left foot
living for the moment/future: The future, hopefully a rich future
cell phone/regular phone: Mobile phone - I love the text
friendship________x
are you popular? People don't cross the street to avoid me, if that's what you mean
number of close friends? Probably in the 5-10 range
friend you talk to the most? Steve
friend you see the least? Anyone from Canada
friend you see the most? Andy
friend who goes to you for advice? None, they all know better than to do that
ever made out with a friend? Nah, none of that
best friend: Steve and Captain Portugal
funniest friend: Steve (looking, smelling...)
dumbest friend: Adam, the boy's a legend
ditziest friend: Katie
most unfortunate friend: Girish, the Shaker's Addiction is a terrible thing
smartest friend: It has to be Lori, does she count?
quietest friend: Aziz
loudest friend: Andy
longest lasting friend: Joe Lawlor
prettiest friend: Steve
cutest friend: Steve
hottest friend: Steve (had to return the favor, mutual ego stroking)
random__________x
what's the worst memory of your life: Probably the death of my baby brother, Stuart
do you have any siblings: One sister
the funniest or most disgusting thing you had to do in a game of truth or dare: I'm pretty sure I've licked some feet
do you like your name: Yeah, I guess so
what are your favorite boys/girls names: Jack/Victoria
when you dream, do you see yourself, or do you see through your own eyes: I actually do both, depending on the situation
do you have any phobias: claustrophobia
does glitter make you sick: Sick? That seems a little strong for something so insignificant
do you consider yourself to be a very sexual person: On occasion
what kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use: Cynthia Sylvia Stout from Lush
what kind of body wash do you use: Sonic Death Monkey from Lush
do you consider yourself to be spoiled: Lori totally spoils me
what is your religion? I don't really have one, God and I have had our differences in the past
are you a big music freak: I prefer normal sized music
do you believe in love at first sight: Lust at first sight, yes, love takes time
do you believe love can only happen once in a lifetime: Nope
do you believe in evolution: Yes, its a better option than Adam & Eve
is there anything you really hate: Early Mornings
what are your views on plastic surgery: Don't overdo it
what are your views on drugs and alcohol: Don't overdo it
are you down with the spongebob craze: No, I'm happily not down with the kids on this one
do you have any collections: Yes, I have lots of toys - mint on cards - I'm a dork
name a place you visit often: the bathroom
do you think you're hot: Nah, its rather mild here at the moment
do you have any piercings: Not anymore
do you want any piercings: No
what are your views on piercings: Don't overdo it
do you have a tattoo: No
do you want one or another one: Well, a pact is a pact, right Steve?
share a few words of wisdom?: You don't tug on Superman's cape, You don't spit into the wind, You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger, and you don't mess around with Jim
how often do you spend time online: Daily
do you get along with your parents: Swimmingly, unless I'm asking for money
how was your childhood: Fantastic, as far as I can remember
are you an only child?: I know this survey is long, but my parents haven't produced another child since I answered this question last. One sister.
pets?: None
feeling on politics: Apathetic
like hippies?: as long as they shower, wear deodarent, and their tie-dye doesn't make my eyes bleed
like thugs?: Not even to laugh at
like Punk rockers?: Proper punks are alright, its the Blinkers that worry me
like hXcers?: What the hell is a hXcer? I'm way too old for this shit.
like metal heads?: Oh yes, my long haired, Pantera loving bretheren
like ravers?: Fun fur visors and glow sticks, what's not to love?
like posers: They make any scene interesting
like goths: Gothic Cam is great!
like hicks?: I don't really know any, so I can't pass judgement
like racist people: Well, no, apart from my Grandad
like Nazis?: Little old German Grandads(with dead eyes) are cute
like preps: sure, go on then
are you a virgin: Buy me dinner and I'm whatever you want me to be
how's the weather?: Its nighttime, cloudy, can't see the stars
do you like living: Better than being dead, I guess
what do you want to be: Fabulous!
how was your day: A bit shit, figuratively and literally
what are you wearing: FCUK jeans, pink ringer tee, CK boxer briefs
doing anything later: Going to sleep
tomorrow?: Going to work
ever try to commit suicide: Whoa, this took a bleak turn, and no.
have you ever____x
been in love? Yes, in the present tense
kissed the same sex? Not since I was wee
seen your favorite band live? Of course.
taken any kind of lessons? Nope, I'm just a natural talent at all I do
won any contests? Never, but I rarely enter them
cussed out your mom/dad? Never had any reason to, I'm not trash
looked at the stars with a loved one? Frequently
wanted to kill someone? Not really
killed someone? Not yet, I'm sure its coming though
hated someone? Of course
cheated on someone? Nope
one, neither, or both____x
mom or dad: Both
girl or boy: Girl
gun or knife: Gun, less personal
deaf or blind: Deaf
penis or vagina: penis for peeing, the other for everything else
blood or boogers: blood, less slimey
eyes or toes: eyes
boobs or butts: boobs, easiest question on this survey, that....except maybe the Nazi one
tongue or lip rings: Neither
nipple or nose rings: Neither
green or blue eyes: Green
punk or thug: Punk Oi! Oi! Oi!
broken jaw or nose: broken jaw, how cool woul dit be to have it wired shut?
date same or opposite sex: opposite
first thing that comes to mind__x
fish: Captain Portugal
fat: gunt
roast Beef: Sunday Dinner
school: wrist deep in feces
asshole: Me
poser: Crazy Town
slut: Alfies
funk: Parliament Funkadelic
drums: Steve
blood: Needles
dead: Michael Jackson's career
president Bush: gun toting cowboy
America: rednecks
cactus: prick
peach: fuzzy
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