Touching the Void

Friday was a big day in the lives of video game geeks such as myself. The release of the latest installment of the Grand Theft Auto series for PS2. Now, being a good little geek, I went out to get it on the first day - traipsing around town searching for it - hundreds like me, doing the same. If you've ever seen Dawn of the Dead, it was a bit like that, masses of like minded individuals loafing from one shop to the next, but instead of cannibalism, we were only interested in GTA. After fruitless searching in two stores, I finally came across it, plucked it from the shelf and waited in the quite substantial line. As I was waiting, I thought I'd get ready for when I eventually made it to the cash register, so I took the debit card out of the wallet, put the wallet away, happy with myself that I was ahead of the game. As I was waiting, I became bored, starting spinning my card with my fingers, twisting it, giving it a slight bend, then, DISASTER.....the card sprung from my hand and skittered across the floor. I looked on in horror as it bounced and bumbled its way across the tiles and then disappeared....underneath the floor length skirt of a supremely fat lady. So, what does one do in this situation? In the cramped conditions of the store, she wasn't going to be moving for some time, and to just dive under would probably have afforded me a beating. I looked around, hoping for a nod or smile of recognition from anyone that saw the incident, no such luck, everyone was rapt with the back of the box, or in deep conversation - I was an island, alone, and cardless.
The line crept ever closer to the register, and the fat lady refused to move, merely waddling a few cms in any given direction, if my card had eyes, I hope, for its sake, that it had landed face down, to save it from the grotesque view that had been thrust upon it.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I was next in line, still cardless, but the fat ladies bastard child, decided what he wanted - and I have to say, it was a really crap choice, so not worth the deliberation he gave it, I could have walked in with my eyes closed, plucked a random game from any section, and still been happier than I would have been with his pick - and moved to the back of the line. The mother gave an about face, and huffed, puffed and waddled to the back of the line. As she was walking, I looked for my card, it wasn't there! It was caught under the hem of her skirt! Bollocks! I followed her trail with my eyes, and then, euphoria - my card popped out, sweaty, dissheveled and looking slightly sick. I jumped out of line and snapped it up off the floor - promising that it would never happen again, for fear of a mutiny, and refusing to work. This being Liverpool, and not Toronto, I lost my place in line, and had to wait behind the fat lady, but, to quote my bank card (if it could talk), better to be behind, than underneath!