Maybe I should just learn to let go. It really shouldn't get to me anymore. Thinking about it will only make it worse. Its been 4 years, what the hell is wrong with me? Why am I still haunted by my semi-final loss to Jeff Billing in the Vic 6 FIFA 2000 tournament? Away goals, aurgh!
Does still thinking about this make me an exceptionally sad case? I can't remember a lot of university, maybe its because I didn't actually do anything while I was there, but this, for some reason, sticks in my mind like a bur on a backpacker's sock.
I must have been the victim of my own hype, looking too far ahead, expecting the final, by right. My Liverpool team, with a rampant Michael Owen/Robbie Fowler forward line, crushing everything in its path, leaving teams decimated, and players sweating like cornered virgins. But then Billing, deceptively quick, Leeds loving, Diet Coke swilling Billing. He stepped up and just like that, my world was over, beating me 2-1 in the first leg, at Anfield, I had it all to do in the return leg. Having beaten him tens of times before, I was still confident. But through a superlative display by the pixelated Nigel Martyn, I only managed to win 1-0, meaning that I was out, it was over. I was gutted.
Looking to turn the trick twice, he went on to face Conor in the final, and got tonked 9-1. Giving up before the end, and throwing down his controller in submission, the ultimate symbol of gamer frustration (only slightly ahead of pounding one button repeatedly, with your index finger and uttering "this doesn't work, its impossible, etc. etc. etc.")
Had he won, I would have felt vindicated, seeing as he didn't, I felt worse - and that's probably why I still think of it, 4 (yes, FOUR) years later as I'm walking home from the hospital. I guarantee I'll still be rueing my missed chances 10, 12, and 25 years from now. Magic ticket my ass McBain.
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